The Price of Children

Close friends and family are privy of the things we go through in Xofia's first 3 years. When recalling, I just laugh at the thought of how it's getting us closer to bankruptcy than we've ever been. Reading the forwarded message below made me realize even more how priceless having Xofia is in our lives. She's about to turn 3 in a few days. And even with just those 3 years, she has filled our lives with countless joy and immeasurable love I can never imagine myself anywhere else.

The Price of Children

Here is something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice.

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140.00 (P7,206,300 at P45 to a dollar) for a middle income family. Talk about price shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.

But $160,140.00 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:

* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month,
* $171.08 a week.
* A mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is, 'don't have children if you want to be 'rich'. Actually, it is just the opposite.

What do you get for your $160,140.00?

* Naming rights . First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles and flying kites.
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day..

For $160,140.00, you never have to grow up. You get to:

* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs,
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:

* keep reading the Adventures of Pooh and Piglet,
* watch Saturday morning cartoons,
* go to Disney movies, and
* wish on stars.

You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For a mere $24.24 a day, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:

* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and
* coaching a baseball team that never wins, but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat in history to witness the:

* First step,
* First word,
* First bra,
* First date,
* First time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!

Love & enjoy your (future) children & grandchildren & great-grandchildren...

It's the best investment you'll ever make!

My endless battle with househelp staffing

I have right now a gay househelp. I don't have issues of him being gay, I have issues of him meddling affairs and creating fictional stories just to rouse the humdrum of daily househelp life. The house is too small for two drama queens. I am the crowned drama queen, so by gosh, he has to realize that and move over. I intend to let him go soonest. I just need to find a replacement.

The nanny, I like. However, young as she is, she wanted to go home and rest. When asked if what she's doing at our house is tiring, she said no, that her chores are very light. Now, help me understand that.

I also have reports that these two aren't getting along very smoothly. I think my emotional capacity right now is only about enough to accommodate one kid, not another two overgrown babies who are not mine!

Ergo, I'm letting them both go. We're getting tired of hiring word-of-mouths, husband and I decided to hit the agencies. I don't expect that my battle ends here, for surely, it will only end when my daughter goes to highschool. Or we decided to have more kids, when all these kids go to highschool. Or better yet, when I give up my corporate life and stay at home.

We'd probably hire just one stay-in nanny, and a stay-out laundry woman. The people at home better do their share of household chores.

Birthday week

So I turned a year older last week. No fireworks, really. I preferred it without the frills of celebrating by throwing a party. The help did cook pancit bam-i. That's about it.

Then we had to bring Xofi back to the doc because she was feverish when she woke up. I've been observing her closely since she caught the colds. As per history, colds always develop into cough, and cough bacteria will then claim residence in her lungs, i.e. pneumonia.

I was always right. I'm her mother, afterall.

We're set to do a couple of tests when she's over this pneumonia bout. I am hoping for the best but expecting the worst. I don't know what could have been worse than a heart condition. This time, it's the lungs.

Plans of another kid are now taking a back seat, officially.

All in all, it was a good birthday, with the universe reminding me to prioritize and plan well.

Spontaneity, too, can be enjoyed some other time.

Finally, Xofia's eating!

Adik sa itlog. This was what her nanny described Xofia.

I noticed she eats the yellow part, but only when it's cooked soft. And because I don't want her feeding on eggs from laying mash-eating hens, I instructed the help to buy organic (bisaya) eggs from the wet market.

Yes, they're smaller and more expensive, but a very small price to pay if it's the only thing she eats. She doesn't eat hard-boiled eggs, so it has to be soft-boiled. Not too soft that it's almost raw, though. The whites should no longer be transparent but must remain soft. My husband did the cooking instructions, I did the feeding instructions. (Oh yes, we're spoiled! :P)

A tiny opening is made at the top of the soft-boiled egg, dashed with a little salt, and mixed with a toothpick: salt, white and yellow parts. It was then fed to Xofia, and what do you know, she gobbled it all up, and asked for more. They had to cook another one because Xofia won't stop crying for it. She can very well finish 4 eggs in one feeding.

Yep, still alive!

And so you wonder, what the H is happening to the blog author? That is, if you still visit me here.

Like always, work gets in the way.

I got so so sooo busy and stressed that I had to have a body massage. For the first time ever. Because I have done every possible way of de-stressing but to no avail. See, I never had a body massage in my life because I am ticklish I was afraid I'd drive the masseuse nuts.

One day at work, I literally surrendered and succumb to the inevitable. I wasn't able to finish the day, I was dead tired. The reason I wrote on my leave form was, and I quote myself, "general feeling of fatigue and discomfort." I later realized it sounded like a symptom of a borderline mental case. My manager, bless her, approved my leave without further questions.

I was this close to a state-ordered psychotherapy treatment.

And before I turn myself completely bonkers, I try and steal as much time as I can for myself. It doesn't come by as easily nowadays.

So, please forgive me if postings here are few and far between.

Take me to HOME COOKING tab

Mommies can be princesses, too!

And so it was a movie date night with hubby and I was so into being a girly girl that I pulled out this frilly, flowing, green skirt I was only able to wear once going to Bora. I paired it with a sexy red top, with yeah, frills around the neckline--what's a girly top without frills?!. You get the picture? Frilly, flowing, long skirt paired with sleeveless, frilly, red top.

I went to the living room, and there was Xofi, wide-eyed and amazed, blurted, "PRINCESS MOMMY!!!"

I know, it's either she never gets to see Mommy in a skirt ever, or media has started corrupting my 2-year old daughter's mind. I am more inclined to believe the latter.

She won't let me sit down because Princesses don't sit down, they walk and dance around holding one end of the flowing skirt with a flick of a finger. It was an hour before showtime, so I had ample time to be walking around the house with Xofia in tow while sometimes doing the can-can with my skirt. I was exhausted by the time her daddy started the car, a signal for us to go.

When I bade goodbye, she kissed me and said, "Goodbye, Princess Mommy! See you later!"

I was half-expecting she'd tell me if I'm gonna spend the night in the castle (Waterfront Hotel). You never know what ideas two-year olds come up with these days.

My version of white picket fence

Once upon a time when I was little, I too dreamt of a beautiful country-style house with white picket fences all around and a quaint ecco mailbox by the gate.

Then I grew up, become an adult and realized that the dream house is expensive. And adults have more difficult tasks of decision-making and budgetary woes to be concerned about white picket fences. It was just not possible.

In our current place, I maintain a pocket garden. One time, I decided to demolish the pocket garden away to give more room to the garage area. I took pity, or my husband rather took pity on the garden, so we kept it. I am on the process of planting greens in it and quite possibly, an herb patch. After which, I plan to surround the garden with wooden fence painted in white. Thusly, my little white picket fence. And to finish the touch, I'll have a quaint ecco e7 mailbox installed at the front. My dream place is slowly realized, only in a different scale, but dream realized all the same.

I just learned that there are beautiful residential ecco mailboxes I can choose from the comfort of my home. I am getting closer to my dream, indeed! :-)

Kangaroos and marinara sauce

(written on 8/03/09, dusting off unfinished blog entries, and found this)

It boggles me, how Xofi still gets to dance and play around with a 40C temperature. It is also a testament on how different we are. Here I am with only a slight headache, plopped down in bed and must not be disturbed.

When I saw her hopping on her knees, I was afraid she'd hit the hard floor and seriously hurt herself. I asked what she's doing, and she knowingly replied "It's a kangaroo, it's a kangaroo!" with one eyebrow raised as if to say how dumb mommy can be.

Because it seems like I can never have as much enthusiasm as Xofi has, I retreated to the kitchen and cooked. I slaved off over marinara sauce and shrimps to make pasta sauce for tonight's dinner. Somehow, the kitchen provides an ever-elusive release. Or I'm just weird like that. Once satisfied, I whipped up 2 glasses of apple-mango milk shake and surfed youtube. Yes, I sinfully rewarded myself.

Oh, this was after I downed 2 Advils. I simply cannot function even with just the littlest of discomfort.


Take me to HOME COOKING tab

Cheap theater tickets

I am a self-confessed glee addict. Yes, the TV series. Can't get enough of it, really. And I got the whole household into glee, even my two-year old! Her all-time favorite glee song is "Alone." Now, she's gravitating towards Ep 9's Defying Gravity. Who can blame her?

Glee has awaken everyone's thirst for everything musical. The most recent one, was Wicked where Elphaba, the supposed wicked witch of the west, sang Defying Gravity with Glinda. That really made me wish I had St. Pete Times Forum Tickets and you know, just wait up there until Wicked gets shown.

For the little one, Sesame Street Live Tickets is perfect. Maybe when she gets to see Elmo and friends live, she'd know that Elmo is the monster, and Nemo is the fish, and ultimately stop calling Elmo Nemo already. I know, I should not force it. I should just let her enjoy in the meantime.

For the husband, I can't resist Staples Center Tickets where everything wonderful just happens. And oh yeah, I do have plans of flying from one theater to the other. Who said it's not doable?

Now, if only I'd get my hands on those acheapseat.com tickets. There's just too many to choose from. I now know the meaning of the word "overwhelming."

Watch your mouth, Mommy!

We found out that having Xofia watch TV later in the night towards her bedtime contributes to her restlessness during the night. There are nights that she'd sit up in the middle of her sleep and whimper. It's scary. There are also nights that she'd continue popping bubbles or calling TV characters with eyes closed. So we stopped the videos right away. Her nighttime activity must only include light play. No excessive mental and physical stimulation. Not even potty-training. It settled her a bit, and I was afforded an additional snooze time.

It's amazing how she accumulates words everyday. We talk to her in straight, big people words, no baby-talk allowed in the house. She'd repeat the words you said and get those words real fast. Before you know it, she'd be talking to you using those words. It's wonderful! Well, only for those words you'd like for her to learn!

Last night at the dinner table, while I was busy strapping her to her seat, she grabbed my soup bowl. Because you never know what two-year olds do with ceramic soup bowls, I hurried to yank it from her hands. In my haste, I stubbed my little toe! Because it was so darn painful, the F-word escaped from my mouth.

Xofia looked at me and said with such gusto, "f**k!" She was beaming ever so proudly, I was lost and sat there unbelieving and immobile.

The three of us, me, my husband and sister looked at each other and laughed.

Big mistake, Mommy. Big mistake.

Catastrophies everywhere, is this really happening?

Luzon has been ravaged with flood courtesy of typhoon Ketsana, the worst the country has seen. I don't have to see the news and scour the internet for information, help is needed everywhere. If you have something extra to spare, please don't hesitate. The universe or the power greater than the universe know how to repay you. And what goes around comes around. We need not experience the flood ourselves to see how horrible it is. Please help.

The very same day that the rain never stopped falling in Luzon, I was somewhere north of Cebu fishing, unaware of what's happening farther up north in the country. We had few rainfalls and a considerable wind, but that was that. Since we were offline practically the whole day, we didn't know what happened until we came home late that night.

We were supposed to be in Manila today, for Xofia's checkup. We postponed because there are two more typhoons looming by the Pacific. In Indonesia a killer quake has claimed lives and more are missing. A tsunami triggered by an earthquake struck Samoa. It's all just happening at the same time, it's overwhelming to say the least.

What are we really doing, in our part, to take care of the earth? Is it too late to be doing something, to at least ensure that our children and their children will still have an Earth to call home?

Do we even care to be bothered?

I know how to fish!

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

A day at Intosan Water Park

So we've been wanting to spend time with good friends Pang and Glenn since Glen came back from the US. Thinking of an opportunity of a long weekend, we planned on a day trip to Intosan Water Park in Danao City.

The place, though lacking the standard of a starred resort hotel, didn't disappoint. Xofia had a blast with the tiny water fountains, and I swear she could stay there the whole day, she won't mind. For a P120 entrance, it'd do for families with lotsa kids. Probably grownups wouldn't have as much fun, but surely parents will enjoy. We parents get a natural high seeing our children happy and enjoying life.

The major downside was the lack of upkeep and cleanliness of bathrooms. Or maybe I'm just too particular with bathrooms. Because I didn't want to stay in the bathroom longer than 3 minutes, I took my shower outside, soap and all, and changed clothes by the vanity inside the public bathroom. Took me two minutes tops inside.

Will probably come back there, but I think I may first want to know how often they're cleaning their pools.

Rain Barrels for collecting rainwater

For the longest time, there is not a day without rain. And of course, I am loving it! I don't like the humidity that comes before the rain, I like the rain itself. I especially like the first few drops as they slowly and deliberately wet the earth. I like that smell.

As what Barney (yep, the dinosaur) had said, when we're thirsty, we get our water from the sink (or bottle) but the plants and trees had to wait for the rain to fall. Rain also, is the best water for the plants. Water from our tap may contain chemicals like chlorine which are harmful. In this thought, I was seriously considering of getting rain water barrels for rain harvesting. Because of the bills I've been grappling with lately, rain barrels simply provide an energy-efficient, if not energy-free way of collecting water.

There are rain barrels for sale that look like planter boxes and decor. If you need to put the barrel out front, it's important to camouflage it to complement the look of the house.

OK, ok. Function first, but if I can have both functionality and aesthetic, why not?

Bills, bills, bills!

(image from thedigeratilife.com)
My whole life is full of bills!

Then there's auto-credit that my card company is offering to place all my bills in 1 single bill. Yay, I won't have to wade through bills after bills anymore. But then that's not the issue. Technically, I still have the same number and amount of bills to pay.

Imagine this.

We don't use running hot and cold water in the house. We've long abandoned the water heater because, hey, who needs hot bathing water in the Philippines, really?

We stopped using the rice-cooker. Not because it uses too much energy but because helpers just love to bust them.

We only use airconditioning during the night, in one room, usually.

Almost all lights in the house are energy-efficient, save for the one in the stock room and the flourescent in the guest room.

We don't use the washing machine. Oh yes, because I have a helper who's idle most times of the day, so yeah, I let her wash by hands. It's more efficient anyway. :-P

And still I get a whooping P5K~ electricity bill. I think it's a joke.

So, I read the Green Living section of realsimple.com. They have a good article on cutting energy cost. Some, I've been practicing, some I need to enforce on the helpers. Let's see if next month's electricity bill will show any improvement.

Small space bar

We entertain a lot. Our house, because it's practically right smack at the city, becomes the unofficial gathering place for friends and family. And because we're living in a small townhouse, I need all practical storage solutions that doubles as something else.

In connection to entertaining, it's very important to have a bar where guests gather around and socialize. But because my dining area is small as it is, there's just no space to tuck a bar somewhere. I find this bar with wheels practical.

The bar showcases a built-in stemware rack and wine station. I could just easily roll the bar from the dining area to the living space where people usually spills over. After entertaining, I can push it out of the way under the kitchen island. Perfect!

Another practical solution that also caught my eye is this undercabinet wine glass rack.

The hanging wine glass rack had me swooning. What better way to display your crystals than this? Plus it doubles as a wine rack. And oh, be still my heart, it comes in polished chrome. Chrome just has this way of matching with any decor.

Don't linger by the doorway

It’s been months since we were at my mother’s. And because her place is significantly bigger than ours, Xofia naturally had a blast. She kept going the whole day and only crashed at 5PM. Dozed for an hour then egged us to go with her high-pitched “Let’s go, let’s go!”

She’s forever fascinated by the presence of animals. Those that she’s only able to see on TV, she can actually see live in her grandma’s place. I could tell she’s gonna be asking for a vacation at grandma’s for years to come.

There was a rooster that kept on crowing. Xofia would go near it, cajoled it to play with her only to be lead out to the backyard where overgrowth becomes unsafe for 2-year olds. She’d then patiently wait for the chickens to come out from the overgrowth and start her befriending. At times when there’s no chicken on site, she’d go to the dog and, well, befriend the dog. I intentionally did not tell her the dog’s name because I don’t want her to get attached to it. The whole time, she’s been calling it “Dog.” Play, Dog. Sleep, Dog. Wake up, Dog, Doooog? Then Dog had to be bathed. The helper had to call Dog by his real name, Pie. Xofia won’t stop calling the dog by his name from then.

Dogs do what they usually do, lounge around and sleepily close their eyes. Pie was lying on the bench and Xofia would knock the other side of the bench because she wanted Pie to wake up. Pie would glare at her and would haughtily turn his attention away as if saying “Go away pesky kid, I don’t wanna play.” Pie has been like this ever since he got injured by a hit-and-run. The once playful dog is now grumpy.

After lunch, I tried putting Xofia to sleep. As routine, she naps around this time. But you don’t get a nap at grandma’s. There are just too many things to do! By and by, the rooster would crow, the chickens cluck, the dog barks, the cows moo. She’d stand up, open the window and call out, “[animal making the sound], wahappen?” Sometimes I wonder if she’s still 2 years old.

So I gave up. We went outside the room and joined the rest of the family. She played with Little Jam, her cousin, and watched Barney. It so happen that the helper’s daughters, aged 8-9 were by the kitchen door. Upon seeing them, she hastily went to the kitchen, smiled, motioned the girls over and cheerfully said “Come on in, come on in!”

My jaw dropped.

Xofia enjoying bubbles with Daddy

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

Another hospital stay

Xofi has had another bout of pneumonia. I don't know why it went there when I am always extra careful whenever she has colds. Then again, I am not always around.

When she had colds and cough the other week, I waited until there's fever. Because really, doctors would only give you Salbutamol and I can very well administer that at home. On the third day of her cough, she developed high-grade fever. We went to the doctor the very next day. She was given Ceclor, an antibiotic. She had it for 7 straight days. The fever was gone on day 2.

However, after the antibiotic, her cough and colds worsened. We went back to the doctor that very day, and since there's no fever as of yet, our goal was to get rid of the symptoms. The doc RXed Ventulin nebules 3x a day. That night, after nebulizing, we played a bit because I wanted the phlegm to clear out before she went to bed. She slept at around 9:30. I got ready myself and went to bed thereafter. At 10:50, I felt the mattress shook. I looked over at Xofia, she was shaking and trembling all over. At first I thought she was only having a hard time breathing because of the colds, but there was mottling on the skin already and it just spelled bad news.

Now, I never had an experience with a baby having chills. I called up my husband who happen to be out of town that day, and relayed to her over the phone what's happening. I woke up Xofia to check if she was still coherent. She still was. I checked the temp, it's still 37. No fever. What's happening? My husband called the doc and the doc advised that we rush her to the ER. All these, while I was frantic and crying the whole time. My goodness, I have got to get a grip of myself!!

On the taxi, I felt her fever rising. When we arrive at the ER, her fever was 39-ish to 40-ish. She was weak and wanted to go to sleep but she can't because the ER is so noisy and busy. I asked if can we have her admitted instead so she can rest in a room. The ER people didn't recommend because the tests aren't back yet. I was like, "Hey, colds and fever clearly indicate infection, what else are you waiting for?" No, we have to wait for the test results, and if I have to insist, it would be against their advise. Needless to say, I was frustrated, and not wanting to waste my energy discussing why these girls should listen to a mother, I shut up and concentrated on collecting Xofia's urine sample.

We got into a room at 3AM. Xofia was cranky the whole time because she's being poked with needles more times than necessary, lodged into an x-ray machine and whatnot.

We stayed in the hospital for 4 days. We are currently finishing her oral antibiotic, and we're down to our last day. Hopefully this time, the meds will get the bacteria.

Saving space and using planter boxes

Living in a small townhouse, I don't have as much freedom when it comes to gardening. City lots are expensive, and every square inch counts. But how drab could life be without something green and alive to look at. I turn to planters, of course, for my needs.

I love how outdoor planters nowadays come in varied designs, they're as effective as planter and as decorative accents. I'm not sure why, but I am partial to square planters, I just seem to prefer them over the circular ones. Maybe because of the deluge of circular terracotta planters when I was growing up, there's not much choice then.

Right now, I have a handful of basil plants in a couple of window box planters. And because I have to transport them upstairs for their daily dose of sun, I used a plastic window box planter for convenience. If I could provide them a good ray of sun at a fixed place, I would've used a sturdier material.

I am now eying a bag of flower seeds back at the store. I'm thinking of germinating them in a garden planter where they can grow to maturity. I am a slacker when it comes to transplanting. But I think it would be just as pretty.