Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Whoever said parenting is easy?

Somewhere along the line, I may have lost the connection.

From a very short meeting with her teacher, I learned that Xofi had hit two of her classmates in two different occasions. When teacher called for her attention, she'd stick her tongue out and cross her arms in defiance. She also learned to purse her lips and roll her eyes for additional emotional effect.

That very day, the moment I came home, Xofi got a timeout and was grounded from watching TV for one week. She took it real well and understood the situation. She knows the reason behind the punishment. It took an impression on her that I've never seen her do those stuff again. Whenever she'd ask for just a little TV time and whenever I am about to give in, I remind myself why I'm doing it and I call on the husband for support.

I also had a little conversation with the nanny. First, the nanny herself provokes Xofi. She'd tease her and knowing how strong Xofi's personality is, Xofi would always fight back. I told the nanny to please stop the teasing as that will only bring out the tiger in her. Being the parents, it would be doubly hard for us to teach our daughter the right manners if she's always interfering with what she thought is only out of fun. Please let us understand that to a toddler, our idea of "fun" is not at all fun to her. The nanny still resort to teasing sometimes. I don't know if she's dumb or stupid or callous, or all of the above, but I see to it that I call on her whenever she does that. I also understand that the nanny doesn't have the same upbringing as I do, so I have to work on my patience on that department.

Second, we have a bully of a neighbor. The kid is of the same age as Xofi but Xofi's physically bigger. The kid hits people for no reason at all and cusses like a sailor. I learned that the kid hits Xofi just for fun, and Xofi hits back because it's the right thing to do. 'Atta girl, but I told my her to stay away from kids like him. I told her, bad advice or not, to not play with bullies like him. True enough, when he sees the kid in the neighborhood, she'd hide and go back to the house. One time, it was too late for her to go hide, she pushed his bike away from her and told him not to come near him.

If it's one thing you can do better growing up, it's choosing your friends wisely. I know I'm not always there to tell Xofi who to keep and forget. I sure don't wanna do that. I just want her to learn to trust her judgment and know what's right from wrong.

I don't want to lose the connection again and forget that my daughter is going through a time of rapid brain growth and leaps in emotional and cognitive skills.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Much ado about a name

And rightly so. The name that we'd give our son will stay with him for the rest of his life. It's just right that we spend most of our time thinking about it. With Xofia, I already knew the moment I learned that we're having a girl. Xofia Enia are modern and shortened versions of my grandmothers' names. With this second baby, it wasn't as easy. Even if I passed the naming responsibility/burden on to my husband, I couldn't help but stick my nose into the process.

The second name, we already knew. We wanted to give him a name that's taken from "Alice" -- my mother-in-law's name. So it was decided long time ago that his second name is going to be Ellis, a variation of "Elijah". Now comes the crucial part. The first name. We wanted it to start with X, the same as Xofia's.

Because it was my husband's turn to name him this time, he was deep in research after much prodding on my part. Triumphantly, he announced "Xian"! I liked it! Much like Christian with a twist, and we'd pronounce it "See-yan". Also, we liked that Xi'an is one of the oldest cities in China with rich history (read: terracotta warriors).

Little did we know that there's an actor named Xian Lim. We didn't know at that time of excitement because, really, we don't watch TV anymore. As anybody in this generation is wont to do, I googled the name "Xian" and google came back with pages and pages of "Xian Lim Scandal". That sent out warning signals. Really? Somebody has a name like that, and he has a scandal?!

Call me cheap and fickle, but that really put me off. I started looking for alternative names we may like. And trust me when I say, there's not much options out there when it comes to names starting with an "X". And Ate Xofi would not let us change the name anymore. She won't stop insisting on calling the baby Baby Xian. I took it in light strides.

Until last week, I wasn't able to slightly convince Xofi to change the name. I think I have found a name I like that the older sister agrees to. I may just have to keep on broaching the idea so she'd get used to it until the baby's out. For now, I plan to just keep the first name a secret. Not for long though, this baby's out in about a month. Excited much! :D


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