A letter for Xofia

Hi, Anak!

It has been a year and 16 days since you came into our lives, and there's no single moment short of wonderful! We have learned that you are a cautious toddler. Not quite the spirited one like Mommy. Daddy likes to claim that you got that from him, which I, of course, have no proof of denying. You may not be as advanced in motor skills as the babies your age, but you remain the calmest, most poised baby I have ever seen. Wait, where did you get that? Your mom is a self-confessed anxious freak who breaks down in the sight of house clutter. OK, so maybe just as a result of my OC-ness.

As willing as you might be in experimenting your new skills in the comfort of our soft bed and your playpen, you hesitate being as active on hard surfaces. You’ve fallen off one time when you were about 8 months. You cried the biggest cry I’ve ever seen you do. From then on, you have stopped staying in the edges. Right now, though, you love testing us. You’d crawl as fast as you can towards the edge and when you’re right there, you’d stop and wait for our warning. The moment you hear us say “Hala, hala! You’ll hurt yourself there!” you’d crawl back up with the biggest grin. You know you’re not supposed to stay there, and you know we will be jumping on our toes the moment we see you a foot from the edge.

One evening, you woke up at 1 AM, and played. Daddy and I have to stay up as well. You wanted us to play with you! And though by virtue of age, you are technically a toddler, we have yet to see you toddle. This time, though, you didn’t disappoint. From the headboard, you turned and bravely took the first three consecutive steps before slumping back. I was unable to contain my surprise and joy, I cried! But I had to stop right away because crying, in whatever form, upsets you.

You love books, and you love it most when I read them to you. You point to illustrations in your books just like Mommy does when I read you a story. Most of the time, you’re contented flipping through your books by yourself while Mommy reads hers in one corner. But when you get bored, you’d crawl up to Mommy, and with a ready smile, tap my book. I cannot say a serious “NO” because all I see is that cute little dimpled cheeks. I have to try harder to let you know I’m serious.

You love crawling about your Pooh puzzle mat. You’d point to the characters and babble. It’s like you’re making up a story about them. It’s so much fun to just sit there and observe you. Until last night, you have never tried venturing out those marbled floors beyond the expanse of your puzzle mat. This time, you bravely took the challenge and did it. You circled the edges of your mat and tried the hard surface. You crawled all the way up to the kitchen! Your Daddy had to tell you to come back and stop yourself from getting dirty. The first few warnings, you did and came back to the safety of your mat. But you wanted to explore more! So you tried it again, and just smiled at your Daddy when he demanded for you to come back. I had to laugh and asked him to leave you be. You were having fun exploring! I’ll take care of the dirt later.

Have I mentioned how you yelp every time Daddy and I are home? You’re like the cutest puppy who’d, if you could, run up and about because you’re so happy to see us. You’d literally jump and slump butt first in your playpen. You did this once sitting down when you were a lot younger. The time you “kicked” those legs in an imitation of a jump, you hit your head on the floor. From then on, you were so careful in “jumping” when you’re not in safe confines, i.e. strapped with a seatbelt, in your playpen. Yes, you are the most cautious baby. I even saw you once trying to strap your stroller seatbelt when your nanny forgot to.

From all these Anak, I’d like to leave you with one lesson. This may not be as important when you are so young, but here I am again, hoping that you’d read all the things I’ve written for you when you’re old enough. Sometimes life gives you lemons. So, choose your lemons. Choose those that are worth the sour face. Choose your fights, because some are just not worth your time. I will want you to fight your own fight, but I will always be around for you. I will be constantly cheering you on, albeit staying in the sidelines.

Alternatively, like how your Ninang Aileen aptly said, “When life gives you lemons, ask for tequila and salt!” Go see your Ninang how that’s done. :-)