Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story...

Monday, June 30, 2008

i think i've changed.


and i have no idea if it's for the better. it's not sad. i just get apathetic at times. if apathetic is what you call the way i never cared.

ten years ago, i would've bitten your head off and gleefully chomped on your bones if you ever as much moved my coffee cup. now, i look at you and think of myself ten years ago. hah!

alright, so it was a pity to go down that low, but i was a slave to my emotions back then. i lived and breathed (got that!) with every swing of my mood. i was confrontational; to some degree, i still am. but i no longer exert the effort if i see there's no point in doing so. because i can only expend myself that much, and i choose to use that energy on things much more important in my life. i'd still receive you if ever you choose to open the confrontation line with me, though. heck, i might even offer you my homemade butter cookies. just don't expect me to apologize for being misunderstood.

priorities change through time. mine has changed a great deal. and if you're somebody who'd need emotional maintenance from me all the time, i might back off, do some reality checking, and ultimately, shrug and smile. but oh, if you're worth it, surely i'd never mind going an extra mile. but here's the thing. those who are worthy will never give me any reason to go that unnecessary extra mile. i don't know. i guess in the end, i just don't care about trivialities anymore.

6 comments:

faeryrowan June 30, 2008 at 7:31 PM  

Right. Life is too beautiful to waste on things that don't really matter. I wouldn't call it apathy. It's probably just the ability to turn "autistic" when you need to. Hmmm...murag pareha ra man na. Hehe! =D

Purpled Sky July 1, 2008 at 8:57 AM  

korek, atih. sometimes amusing lang jud kaau how people put too much importance on themselves. that used to get on my nerves, pero not anymore. the reaction is simply amused. nahibung gani pud ko sa ako self. hehehe. as i've said years ago, wrinkle is such an expensive way to pay for such an ugly emotion as hate. mau gani pud gwapa ta! hahahaha!

autistic, apathetic -- the point is as long as way wrinkles nga manggawas, vega ra jud! :-D

{girl}forallstatus July 1, 2008 at 10:23 AM  

I'm indifferent to trivial things, too. I was into every bit of little things in the past but I got tired. I focus on more important things now like my kids and my health. So ok lang yan. =)

Purpled Sky July 1, 2008 at 2:28 PM  

gfas, i'd like to think we've grown wiser :-)

caffeinated muse July 1, 2008 at 3:14 PM  

mao mao.
i agree *hate* is a luxury i cannot afford. :)

chris July 2, 2008 at 6:02 AM  

Not caring about trivialities is a beautiful thing, even though we often get caught up on it...I have changed too and hope for the better.

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